Sunday, 5 May 2013

A Funny Story

We came across this story which jokingly sums up what is happening with China today:

There was a robbery in Guangzhou and the robber shouted to everyone: "All don't move. The money belongs to the state, life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept -- changing the conventional way of thinking".

One woman lay on the table provocatively and the robber shouted at her, "Please be civilized! This is a robbery, not a rape!" This is called "Being Professional -- focus only on what you are trained to do".

When the robbers got back, the younger robber (MBA trained), told the older robber (only primary school educated), "Big brother, let's count how much we got," but the other robber rebutted and said, "You are very stupid. There's so much money, how can we count it all? Tonight the TV will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!" This is called "Experience -- nowadays experience is more important than paper qualifications".

After the robbers left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. The supervisor said, "Wait wait wait! Let's put the 5 million RMB we embezzled into the amount the robbers stole!" This is called "Swim with the tide -- converting an unfavourable situation to your advantage".

"The supervisor says, "It will be good if there is a robbery every month." This is called "Killing boredom -- happiness is most important".

The next day the news on TV reported 100 million RMB was stolen from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count 20 million RMB. The robbers were very angry and complained, "We risked our lives and only stole 20 million RMB while the bank manager took 80 million RMB with the snap of his fingers! It looks like it is better to be educated to be a thief!" This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold".

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his loos in the CINOPEC shares are now covered by this robbery. This is called "Seizing the opportunity -- daring to take risks!"

Here's the original Chinese version:

 
广东一伙劫匪在抢劫银行时说了一句至理名言:通通不许动,钱是国家的,命是自己的!大家都一声不吭躺倒。
这叫观念转换。改变原有固定思维方式。
  劫匪望了一眼穿着裙子躺在桌上四肢朝天的出纳小姐,说:
请你躺文明些!这是劫财,又不是劫色!
这叫坚持职业操守,不该干的不干!
  劫匪成功回去后,其中一个新来的劫匪(硕士学位)说,
老大,我们赶快数一下抢了多少
  那老劫匪(小学文化)说:
你傻啊?这么多,你要数到什么时候啊?今天晚上看新闻不就知道了吗。
  这就叫工作经验,这年头工作经验比学历更重要
!
  劫匪走后,行长说,赶紧报案!主任刚要走,行长急忙说:
等等!把我们上次私自挪用的那五百万也加上去!
这叫危机预案,化不利为有利。
  主任说:
要是劫匪每个月都来抢一回就好了
  工作很枯燥,快乐最重要!
  第二天新闻联播报道银行被抢了一亿,
劫匪数来数去只有两千万。
  老大骂道:
妈的,老子拼了一条命才抢了两千万,银行行长动动手指头就赚了八千万,看来这年头还是要读书啊!
这叫知识可以转化金钱的证明
  银行行长看到新闻联播后激动滴对主任说:
妈的,你小子可以,胆儿够肥的啊......
  主任笑而不语,如卸重负暗自心想:
妈的,终于通过劫匪把买中石油股票的窟窿补上了。
这叫抓住机会顺势而为,且要敢于冒险。


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