A Funny Story

We came across this story which jokingly sums up what is happening with China today:

There was a robbery in Guangzhou and the robber shouted to everyone: "All don't move. The money belongs to the state, life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept -- changing the conventional way of thinking".

One woman lay on the table provocatively and the robber shouted at her, "Please be civilized! This is a robbery, not a rape!" This is called "Being Professional -- focus only on what you are trained to do".

When the robbers got back, the younger robber (MBA trained), told the older robber (only primary school educated), "Big brother, let's count how much we got," but the other robber rebutted and said, "You are very stupid. There's so much money, how can we count it all? Tonight the TV will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!" This is called "Experience -- nowadays experience is more important than paper qualifications".

After the robbers left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. The supervisor said, "Wait wait wait! Let's put the 5 million RMB we embezzled into the amount the robbers stole!" This is called "Swim with the tide -- converting an unfavourable situation to your advantage".

"The supervisor says, "It will be good if there is a robbery every month." This is called "Killing boredom -- happiness is most important".

The next day the news on TV reported 100 million RMB was stolen from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count 20 million RMB. The robbers were very angry and complained, "We risked our lives and only stole 20 million RMB while the bank manager took 80 million RMB with the snap of his fingers! It looks like it is better to be educated to be a thief!" This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold".

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his loos in the CINOPEC shares are now covered by this robbery. This is called "Seizing the opportunity -- daring to take risks!"

Here's the original Chinese version:

 
广东一伙劫匪在抢劫银行时说了一句至理名言：“通通不许动，钱是国家的，命是自己的！”大家都一声不吭躺倒。
这叫观念转换。改变原有固定思维方式。
　　劫匪望了一眼穿着裙子躺在桌上四肢朝天的出纳小姐，说：“请你躺文明些！这是劫财，又不是劫色！”
这叫坚持职业操守，不该干的不干！
　　劫匪成功回去后，其中一个新来的劫匪（硕士学位）说，“老大，我们赶快数一下抢了多少”。
　　那老劫匪（小学文化）说：“你傻啊？这么多，你要数到什么时候啊？今天晚上看新闻不就知道了吗。”
　　这就叫工作经验，这年头工作经验比学历更重要!
　　劫匪走后，行长说，赶紧报案！主任刚要走，行长急忙说：“ 等等！把我们上次私自挪用的那五百万也加上去！”
这叫危机预案，化不利为有利。
　　主任说：“要是劫匪每个月都来抢一回就好了”。
　　工作很枯燥，快乐最重要！
　　第二天新闻联播报道银行被抢了一亿，
劫匪数来数去只有两千万。
　　老大骂道：“妈的，老子拼了一条命才抢了两千万，银行行长动动手指头就赚了八千万，看来这年头还是要读书啊！”
这叫知识可以转化金钱的证明
　　银行行长看到新闻联播后激动滴对主任说：“妈的，你小子可以，胆儿够肥的啊......
　　主任笑而不语，如卸重负暗自心想：“妈的，终于通过劫匪把买中石油股票的窟窿补上了。”
这叫抓住机会顺势而为，且要敢于冒险。

Picture of the Day: Down Below

The view of Admiralty from Cafe Gray Deluxe

The other night I had dinner at Cafe Gray Deluxe at Upper House in Admiralty. The contemporary European restaurant has a fantastic view of the city from the 49th floor and I thought I'd take advantage of this relatively clear night.

Looking down may be everyone's cup of tea, but here the view overlooks the Conrad Hong Kong and its pool that apparently gets the most sun of the three swimming pools there.

Don't the taxis below look like toy cars?

We also love the reflection of the nearby office buildings. Some people are still working late after 9pm...

Pictures of the Day: Rubber Duckie

Rubber Duck gets the VIP escort to Ocean Terminal today

Victoria Harbour is one giant bathtub for this giant yellow rubber duck.

Finally after months of anticipation, Dutch artist Florentijin Hofman's duck has arrived in Hong Kong and is now hanging out by Ocean Terminal as part of an outdoor art project called "Mobile M+: Inflation!".

The show includes other inflated works such as a life-size replica of the Stonehenge, and get this -- giant poo.

But back to the duck. Lots of people were out taking pictures today of the giant bird and putting them on Facebook... didn't they have to go to work?

At 16.5 metres tall, you can't miss this giant yellow thing in the water.

Who would have thought a giant rubber duck would bring smiles to so many faces?

"Once I had my first child, I saw their needs from a parent's perspective. It's very important to me," explained Hofman.

We hope Rubber Duck enjoys its stay in Hong Kong

He is known for making large installations. "By placing them in public spaces, they offer a different perspective for the space," he said.

Hofman is overwhelmed by Hong Kong people's response to the duck, which makes us wonder: Is Hong Kong such a serious city that it has lost sight of simple pleasures like playing with a rubber duck?

Hopefully this piece called Rubber Duck will remind people here to be more lighthearted.

Yes we're in Hong Kong to make money, but life's too short not to enjoy it too.

Finally Answers to the Ferry Tragedy

The Lamma IV sank in minutes to the shock of passengers and rescuers

We are please to finally get some answers to the tragic Lamma ferry accident that happened exactly six months ago.

Thirty-nine people died when a Hongkong Electric ship called Lamma IV collided with the ferry Sea Smooth off Lamma Island when the former vessel was taking passengers out to see the National Day Fireworks in Victoria Harbour.

The Commission of Inquiry found "serious systemic failings" on behalf of the Marine Department that contributed to the tragedy, where a series of errors were made at every stage of the design, construction and inspection of the Lamma IV. This explains why the vessel sank so quickly after the collision.

Led by Justice Michael Lunn, the commission was "astonished and deeply dismayed" to discover the department had not fully enforced at 2008 regulation that stipulated vessels should have the number of lifejackets matching the capacity, and have children's lifejackets available too.

Another factor was that seats on the upper deck of the Lamma IV were not very secure and came off easily in the accident, throwing those passengers towards the stern. Also people had difficulty getting to and putting on lifejackets, and there were no children's lifejackets on board.

In addition, the two coxwains of the two vessels have both been charged with 39 counts of manslaughter and they will go to trial.

Damage sustained by the Lama ferry Sea Smooth

As for the commission's inquiry, Director of Marine Francis Liu Hon-por did not indicate if he would resign or apologize. Perhaps he is waiting to see if Chief Executive Leung Chun-ying ropes him into a disciplinary hearing, but really he should do the honorable thing and resign.

And Leung would be politically inept if he didn't hold a hearing on Liu, so either way someone has to go.

In the meantime, this year's National Day fireworks display has been cancelled out of respect for the victims, and there is now talk about how there are too many pyrotechnic shows in Hong Kong already.

Perhaps we should be fiscally prudent and batten down the hatches, but more importantly the Hong Kong government must ensure all crews working in the city's harbour are qualified and carefully inspect all vessels.

Our lives are dependent on them.